A break from good times

You never really know anyone…. especially if you don’t know them. Andy Signore, creator of Screen Junkies and Honest Trailers has been accused of sexual misconduct and harassment and has been fired by Defy Media. He apparently did some pretty inappropriate things and even allegedly attempted to sexually assaulted a young woman. On Face book, I saw that picture of the sailor kissing the nurse in Times Square that everyone has seen and there was a snippet of an interview with the kissee. She said she didn’t expect it and that she wasn’t kissing him, he was kissing her. Now instead of this being an iconic symbol of romance and celebrating victory, it’s assault.

Don’t misunderstand. Andy Signore is, if he did all that’s alleged, a sicko and should be criminally prosecuted. It goes far beyond just being gross or creepy, or just too forward and treads heavily on using celebrity and position to violate women. I do not, however, believe the iconic photo of the sailor and nurse is of an assault. Neither did the nurse as in the same interview, she said they were all thrilled and celebrating and she didn’t feel assaulted. All of this is to say it can be about perception, but there has to be a line.

Where is that line? Well, I like to oversimplify things and am developing a chart with a few categories.

Are you a “somebody”? (media, film, or Internet celebrity of some kind in your mind or everyone’s)

    • Seduce / make overtures toward a fan – wrong
    • Seduce / make overtures toward an intern – wrong
    • Seduce / make overtures toward a member of your entourage – wrong.
    • Seduce / make overtures toward a service employee (hair, makeup, etc) – wrong
    • Seduce / make overtures toward a member of the media – wrong
    • Send an inappropriate picture of your body to anyone you’re not married to – wrong
    • Physically touch an area covered by a bathing suit of anyone without asking – wrong

Are you someone’s Boss? (having a supervisory or ownership position in or of a company)

    • Seduce / make overtures toward – an employee under your supervision – wrong
    • Seduce / make overtures toward – an employee not under your supervision – wrong
    • Seduce / make overtures toward – an employee working for a related company – wrong
    • Promise (or threaten) anything for sexual favors – wrong
    • Give unwanted gifts to an employee – wrong
    • Give / ask for inappropriate photographs – wrong
    • Physically touch and employee you supervise anywhere – wrong
    • Physically touch an employee you don’t supervise but that you work with – wrong
    • Physically touch an area covered by a bathing suit of anyone without asking – wrong

Are you just some guy / gal (because yes…. these are all for both genders)?

    • Seduce / make overtures toward someone without polity asking if it’s OK first – wrong
    • Send an inappropriate picture of your body to anyone you’re not married to – wrong
    • Ask for inappropriate photographs – wrong
    • Physically touch an area covered by a bathing suit of anyone without asking – wrong

These seem like some pretty rudimentary rules but damn, why does it seem like so many people are having such a hard time with it. Let’s say you’re a straight man. Do you want your ass lovingly caressed on a subway by a gay guy? Let’s say you are a gay man. Would you want some straight woman boss rubbing her chest on your while pointing something out on your computer screen? Let’s say you’re you…. would you want anyone telling you you have to put out so that your spouse or significant other could keep their job? NO! No you would not. Have some empathy….. lack of empathy is the problem.

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